Daddy, can we take Nicky with us to graduation?
No, I don't think so, sweetheart. But maybe Geoffrey can baby-sit for him.
Of course, sir. And, no, I wouldn't mind missing the ceremony.
Why should I be invited to such an illustrious event after a mere 15 years...
of wiping, picking and sucking up after you all?
Geoffrey, we would love for you to come to graduation with us.
I'll have to check my book.
Geoffrey, you're coming.
But you know, your mother's not feeling well and...
I don't feel right leaving Nicky with a stranger.
I could take care of him.
Y eah, but who's going to take care of you?
Y eah, come on, Hilary. Plus, you can't miss the ceremony...
hard as I've worked to graduate.
Man, you know how hard it is to take a test like this?
Guess what? I'm the class valedictorian.
What does that mean?
I believe it's Latin for "little short midget with a square head."
Now...
what was Antonio Vivaldi trying to tell us in this concerto?
Come on, baby, I'm saying, "Bing-bang- bluesy, me and you in the Jacuzzi."
What's up?
Mr. Smith. The concerto? What was Vivaldi saying?
Well, actually, Mrs. Bassin, I'm glad you asked me that.
Vivaldi, or "Vival Dee" as it is pronounced in some European circles...
I believe he was commenting on...
man's inhumanity toward man.
That we...
citizens of America, the richest country on this planet...
have a moral obligation that goes far beyond buying the...
newest car...
or purchasing the latest Naughty By Nature CD.
If one child goes hungry...
we must feed it.
If one child shivers...
we must shelter it.
And I, for one...
believe the brother knew what he was talking about.
Vivaldi died in 1741 before there was a United States.
But the dream is alive.
More on Vivaldi tomorrow.
Mr. Smith, may I have a word with you, please?
- Y es, I was just... - Mr. Smith.
Mrs. Bassin, I'm sorry, I was acting silly today.
I'll make it up tomorrow.
Too little too late. Will, I'm going to have to fail you.
The "F" word. Why?
Y ou missed half the semester.
What's your point?
Will, you have 10 classes to make up...
and only five before graduation.
Listen, Mrs. Bassin, I'm telling you, I'll make up the work.
Come on, I have to graduate.
I'm sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself.
Listen, Mrs. Bassin...
I don't think you understand. My Mom is flying out from...
Philly to see me graduate.
I mean, the woman that gave me life.
And if I don't graduate, she'll take it back.
Listen, I'll make up the work.
Y ou don't have time. And besides, there's no way you could...
keep up with my accelerated class. It's over.
Look, Mrs. Bassin, listen, come on.
This is me.
I'm sinking. Please give me another chance. Please?
Come on.
All right, be here tomorrow at 5:00.
- Y es... - But no promises.
Thanks a lot, Mrs. Bassin.
Wait a minute. Batman comes on at 5:00. Can we make it at 6:30?
- I'm joking. I'm stupid. - I know.
So, Janine, when did you first decide you wanted to take care of children?
When I was so instructed by the Lord of the Eighth Circle.
So, Lindsay, when did you first decide you wanted to take care of children?
I guess, shortly after my release.
Please! What do you know about taking care of babies?
Babies? I'm here to take care of Hilary.
Hey, did my Mom get here yet?
Geoffrey's picking her up from the airport.
Will, I've been meaning to ask you. What do you want for graduation?
Would you all stop with the interrogation, please?
Obviously, some of us can handle...
the pressures of graduation better than others.
Pressure? Look, man, I'm not feeling no pressure, okay?
Thank God you're not giving the speech. It's an immense responsibility...
one I face with great humility.
But do I shirk it? No. Because somehow deep down I know...
anyone else would really bite.
Gosh, Carlton, you're so confident. I'd be too nervous to be valedictorian.
Nervous? Why?
Why? I mean to have all those people staring at you.
I mean, people stare at me all the time, but I'm pretty.
I guess that spandex shirt don't got nothing to do with it, huh?
Aren't you afraid you're going to mess up?
Not a problem.
Well, I'd be worried.
Y eah, every kid hoping you make a fool of yourself, every parent wondering...
what you're doing up at the podium and why you're sweating so much?
Y o, C, come on, man, you ain't got to worry about none of that.
But I would worry about slipping off them stack of phone books...
you going to be standing on.
Heck, you guys.
Heck!
Y ou're very, very brave.
We're so proud of you.
Oh, God, I'm short, I'm sweaty and I can't grow chest hair.
Oh, my goodness, is that a bald spot?
Oh, there he is, my graduate!
Hey, Ma.
Y ou're my pride and joy, sweetie. This means everything to me.
I never thought I'd live to see this day, but here I am and there you are.
Now, smile and say, "diploma."
Look, Mom, this is just a little graduation.
I think you're making a little too much of it.
Boy, are you crazy? I've been waiting 18 years for this moment.
Come on, Mom, you must have done something else in all that time.
Nothing more important than this.
Apparently, you've never danced the Achy Breaky.
Will, completing high school was a great achievement.
Y ou've made me so happy I could cry.
Y eah, me too.
Boo!
Will, where have you been? I haven't seen you in music class.
Y ou ain't heard? Mrs. Bassin brought me up to her advanced class.
Y ou know, Will, you are so talented.
Y eah, and I'm pretty good at music, too, you know?
- Don't be silly. - Get on out of here before I do something.
Will, you made it.
Class, say hello to Will.
He'll be joining us until the end of the semester.
Great. Another high school dropout.
Okay, now, before we start our scales...
can anyone tell me what "pizzicato" means?
Mr. Smith.
Mr. Smith? Y ou got all these...
Sure...
pizzicato, that's a...
pizza with avocado.
Get it, I said, it's a pizza...
Michael.
Pizzicato: A term indicating that strings should be plucked, not bowed.
Well, there ain't no Santa Claus.
Another slice for you, Master William?
No thanks, G, I'm not hungry.
That's funny. Wi// a/ways has seconds at home.
G...
I am this close to not graduating, man.
I think my music teacher has got it out for me.
She's trying to force me to make up 10 hours.
Come on, it ain't like I got a future in music or nothing.
Well, I sincerely hope you graduate.
Thanks a lot, G, that means a lot to me.
Because if you're left back and I have to wash your gym socks for another year...
I shall take my own life.
Surprise!
Look, Mom, what is this?
Y our four-days-before-graduation gift.
Look, Mom, this has got to stop.
There wouldn't happen to be no car keys in here would there?
- No. - Then this has got to stop, Mom.
I know, I'm getting a little carried away, but I'm just so proud of you.
Y our graduation is very important to me.
But, Mom, it wouldn't be if you got out more.
- I know what's going on here. - Y ou do?
Y ou're trying to downplay graduation...
because you don't want me to feel bad that I never got a chance to graduate.
Oh, God, my life is over. I wish I'd never been made valedictorian.
Carlton, come on, you're going to do fine.
Now, when you're up there, just picture someone that you really admire...
watching you with love and approval. Go on, try it.
It's no good. The only thing I can picture is...
someone laughing and pointing at me.
Carlton, now you stop that man, that is not...
going to happen to you when you give that speech.
That's going to happen to you on your wedding night.
Okay, kids, today we're going to choose up teams...
and play musical jeopardy.
Now, who wants to be our two captains?
Right here, Mrs. Bassin.
Nancy and Michael.
Two players left. Make your choice.
Come on, man, you got to pick me.
All right, stop your whining.
Now for the final question...
the answer is: A clef.
I know!
What is that thing Michael Jackson had built into his chin?
Nancy.
What is the character that indicates the pitch of a particular line on a staff?
That's right. Congratulations.
- Y es! - Y our team wins.
- What are you looking at? - Not much.
Look, man, we can take this out to the monkey bars.
Any time, any place.
I'm just kidding, you're the man.
Okay, students, don't forget to get here early tomorrow...
so you can be measured for your costumes for the recital.
- Recital? - That's right.
Mrs. Bassin, my sister, listen...
I appreciate everything you're trying to do for me, but look...
I am not about the embarrass myself in front of a group of strangers.
Mr. Smith, my brother...
you're not going to embarrass yourself in front of a group of strangers.
That's what I said.
Y ou'll be performing for your friends at graduation.
Are you tripping? No way.
Then you won't be able to graduate, I'm afraid.
Then I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to sign your yearbook!
Look, all right? Now, I know the two of you are upset...
about me not graduating, okay?
But you'll get over it. Y ou'll have to.
All right? 'Cause I made up my mind...
and nothing either of you can say is going to change that.
Okay? 'Cause I'm a man.
All right? With strong man emotions.
And there is no way that this man...
is going to get up on that stage and embarrass himself at graduation.
No.
Good luck, sweetie. I'm so proud of you.
Mama's boy.
Okay, kids, I'm going to announce you. So, take your marks.
Where are you guys going?
Come on, don't you guys want to go out there and see...
Uncle Willie make a fool out of himself?
What's wrong?
Those are people out there.
All this time y'all thought we was going to be performing for some Smurfs?
Okay, come on, look, let's just pretend it's another rehearsal.
Forget it, we're not ready for the public.
How do you think I feel?
We've got our futures to think about.
Listen, I don't think you guys understand.
If we don't get out there, I'm not going to graduate.
Y ou're breaking my heart.
And you're so cute.
And if you guys don't let me graduate, then I might have to mess y'all up.
Show on!
Today for your listening pleasure...
let us welcome the Little Rays of Sunshine.
That's my Jessie, the one with the braids.
That's my Will, the one with the mustache.
Hey, Mike, can we get a little James Brown?
I didn't hear you. I said, "Can we get a little James Brown?"
Now, here we go.
Say, Maestro, can we get a little walking music?
Posse out!
Thanks, Will, you got us through a tough one.
Okay.
I guess that means you're noticing how truly fly I am.
Speaking of flies, yours is open.
A tutu fly.
Well, Will...
- congratulations. - Thank you.
Y ou can walk with your classmates. I'm passing you.
- Hey, thanks a lot, Mrs. Bassin. - Y ou're welcome.
And trust me, I learned a valuable lesson from this.
What's that?
I ain't never having no kids.
Good luck. Come on, kids. Let's go.
Hey, Will, I caught your act.
Baby, listen, check it out, I can...
y ou know, you really surprised me.
That was the most sensitive, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
And nothing turns me on more than sensitivity in a man.
Oh, girl, you don't know the half of it.
Let me tell you I be boo-hooing during Lassie.
Before / came here today, / was afraid...
as /'m sure many of you are. /t seems these days, there's a /ot to be afraid of.
The wor/d can be a pretty scary p/ace.
But how can one person make a difference?
We//, /'// te// you what /'m going to do.
/'m going to take the education / received here...
and use it to give back to those /ess fortunate.
Y our cousin's really deep and he doesn't even seem nervous.
Y eah, see, check it out. I gave him a little advice.
I told him to picture somebody that he really admires.
And, you know, he probably picturing me.
And in c/osing...
/'d /ike to thank my teachers and my c/assmates for four great years.
And my fami/y for their /ove and support.
And, my best friend...
someone who stuck beside me...
and kept me out of troub/e...
and maybe got me into a /itt/e bit of it, too.
Congratu/ations.
Lisa Armstrong.
Adam Baker.
Car/ton Banks.
John Simpson.
Wi// Smith.
Now, when you're up there, just picture someone that you really admire...
watching you with love and approval. Go on, try it.
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry.